Home & Hoard
Protection for scorched roofs, melted siding, crushed chimneys, and involuntary treasure storage.
View coverage →North America's leading dragon-risk specialists*
Your home is insured against fire.
But what caused the fire?
Dragon Insurance provides practical protection from fire-breathing, treasure-hoarding, livestock-stealing, roof-crushing, and other dragon-origin incidents traditional insurers prefer not to discuss.
24/7 Scorch Claims
North America Coverage
Certified Dragon-Aware
$47Mestimated uninsured dragon damage*
8,204suspected scorch incidents*
2.3Mlivestock units within probable range*
0dragons successfully interviewed*
Comprehensive protection
Coverage for every stage of the attack.
From first shadow to final adjuster report, our policies address the unique financial consequences of dragon proximity.
Knight Replacement
Because experienced knights are scarce, expensive, and frequently unavailable during peak dragon season.
View coverage →Livestock & Farm
Coverage for cattle, goats, sheep, horses, fences, barns, and other recognized high-value dragon snacks.
View coverage →Dragon Liability
For situations where a dragon nesting on your property damages your neighbor's property instead.
View coverage →Dragon Intelligence Bureau
Global Dragon Exposure Map
Select a region to review dominant dragon threats, common damage patterns, and current underwriting posture.
Famous-dragon references are treated as comedic cultural references only. Dragon Insurance is not affiliated with any third-party character owners.
Proof of protection
Official Certificate of Dragon Protection
Laminated. Serialized. Reassuring. Suitable for homes, offices, stables, fortified villages, and anywhere else a dragon might reasonably inspect documentation.
- Personalized with subscriber name
- Unique policy certificate number
- Official-looking Dragon Insurance seal
- Laminated physical certificate mailed to you
$19.99
Deluxe laminated certificate
Get Covered + Order Certificate
Novelty product. Does not compel dragon compliance, repayment, retreat, or emotional growth.
Policyholder experiences
Real peace of mind. Allegedly.
Selected testimonials from fictional customers who have graciously agreed not to ask difficult questions about underwriting.
★★★★★“I thought dragons weren’t real. Then something the size of a city bus landed on my shed. Dragon Insurance was the only company that didn’t put me on hold.”
★★★★★“They replaced three cows, 180 feet of fencing, and most of a Subaru. The adjuster identified the species before I finished making coffee.”
★★★★☆“Fast claim. Professional service. One star removed because the dragon kept the deductible.”
Testimonials are fictional, as are the policies, claims, dragons, adjusters, and likely the Subaru.
Emergency guidance
Dragon attack? Don't panic.
Our claims process is designed around one principle: documentation matters, but remaining uneaten matters more.
01
Move away
Relocate at least 300 yards from the dragon.
02
Leave the gold
Do not attempt to recover treasure during active hoarding.
03
Document safely
Photograph damage only from a defensible position.
04
Call us
Our adjusters are trained in scorch-pattern analysis.
Free assessment
Find out how exposed you really are.
Complete our 60-second Dragon Risk Assessment. We'll calculate your risk score and send your personalized report.